I haven’t posted in a while (well, not here at least since I’ve been posting at the Straight Path Solutions site recently), but I did want to reply to the latest T-SQL Tuesday call. This month’s edition is hosted by Mike Walsh, who asks folks to write two short but thoughtful notes to yourself: one to your past self of 10 years go, and one from yourself 10 years in the future.

One quick note: am I writing this to myself? Absolutely. But hopefully these words resonate with others not as far down my path, as I’ve learned these truths the proverbial “hard way”.

Letter to me in 2015

Hey, I know you’re busy with all the extracurricular life stuff with your family now, so I wanted to give you some quick advice to help you for the next decade. Here it is: Your “soft” skills matter MORE than your technical skills.

I know that sounds ridiculous because you’re still feeling like you’re trying to catch up on the SQL Server 2012 and 2014 features, and that Azure cloud thing has even more stuff to learn. Keep working on all that as you can, but don’t stress that you don’t know all the things now, or really ever. You will never know all the things, and there will always be someone smarter than you at any given thing. And that’s totally fine.

What you may not realize now is that time is a limited commodity (I’m older, so I know this all too well!) Sure, you can keep finding time advancing your technical skills, but MAKE the time to keep working on these other skills:

  • Verbal and written communications. In all communications, try to be as clear and succinct as you can, because most folks hate reading more than one sentence in an email (yes, we still have those) or an instant message (yes, we still have those too.) And organize your thoughts before speaking so you can be easily understood. You’re going to need these skills more than you can imagine, but if I tell you why you’ll be mortified. Just trust me on this.
  • Organization. Each year of your career is going to place more responsibilities on you – some technical, some not – so prioritize getting organized. Use calendars, OneNote, whatever you need so you spend less time fumbling around trying to sort your daily tasks. The world is going to go sideways in 2020, and you’ll really need to be good at organizing your day all by yourself to get through things.
  • Empathy, humility, and gratitude. Assume positive intent even from those you disagree with, admit and learn from your mistakes, and show gratitude for the opportunities you are presented. All three of these things form the basis of meaningful connections with other humans, and these meaningful connections will go much further towards a sense of satisfaction in your career than any salary.
  • Curiosity. In the last 10 years I have observed your coworkers and other folks who you haven’t met yet, and the quality I’ve seen over and over that separates the “successful” people from the rest is curiosity. Don’t just close tickets, sit silently at meetings, and start work at exactly 9am. Look deeper into issues, ask questions, and show up a few minutes before everyone else to give yourself some time to “tinker” and learn from experience. Again, you don’t have to learn all the things – heck, you can even “tinker” with non-technical skills like blogging or (stay with me here) public presentations – but just commit to doing a bit more than what is expected and you will develop into an invaluable resource for others.

You can hone all these things more than your technical skills, because unlike many technical skills you get to use these skills every day. Commit to making even tiny improvements in any of these areas, and you will be amazed at what happens – not only to your career, but to all the relationships in your life.

As for the future, I’m not very good with predictions. (This is actually a blessing, because it keeps me from ever gambling on anything.) I won’t try to guess how pervasive AI will become, or the level of Fabric adoption, or if SQL Server will EVER have the ability to do to object-level restore/recovery. But I think I know one thing I’ll all be thinking about in 10 years.

Letter from me in 2035

Hey, I know you’re curious about AI and Fabric and whatever else was hotly discussed in 2025. I won’t spoil it for you – you’ll figure it all out. Instead, I wanted to ask you to do me in the future a favor: Take care of your physical and mental health.

Here in the future, I’m 10 years further away from your indestructible youth and 10 years further in to working at a desk every weekday. 10 years more of staring at screens. 10 years closer to only being someone else’s memories.

Please, help me out here. Take care of your body by eating good food, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. And move around, whether that’s taking a quick walk with the dog or dancing at your desk. These things are actually fun, and life is supposed to be enjoyed.

Keep engaging your mind by interacting with others IN PERSON, and never stop learning from them. Or helping them, however you can. Interactions and shared experiences – not achievements – will make your fondest memories.

I’m not going to tell you about opportunities for travel, grandkids, or anything else; I’ll just say to do your best to take care of the mind and body you’ve been given, and you’ll thank me later. Don’t wait – start now!

I know you can do this, and thank you for all the hard work!